The Hunter Chronicles
by imalionheart
Summary: When Hunter goes through a crack on the fabric of reality in an attempt to escape the Time War, he expects to find nothingness. Instead he finds Lawndale. OC!Time Lord & Companion!Daria and Jane. Crossover with also a bunch of other shows, to a smaller extent. New episodes every Sunday.
1. Episode One: Mr Roboto

**EPISODE ONE |****MR. ROBOTO**

It happened long ago, and yet it wouldn't for so many years to come. It was inevitable, a fixed point in time that should always happen as it did – again and again, for all of eternity. Of course, the way it should happen depended entirely on perception. If a tree falls in the woods and there is no one around to hear it, does it make a sound? What should happen was awful. The end of an entire civilization, and for naught. The war came and passed, his people were obliterated – at the hands of their own kind, none the less – and the Daleks, they found a way to survive. They lived on, and built their empire again, but Gallifrey was no more, the last Time Lord standing was the one who doomed his entire civilization. The last of the Time Lords, the Doctor. If it happened like that, no one can really tell you. It did, and it didn't, both at the same time, and both on an infinite loop again and again for the rest of eternity, or until someone figures it out. As long as nobody dares to look back, Gallifrey stands – and falls, all at once.

Hunter would have you think that that was the reason why he didn't look back, why he moved so far and did so much to escape the horror – but, of course, that was not the reason. The young man, only four hundred years old, simply didn't want to die. But escaping the Time War was not easy. It came at a price, and the price was to escape reality itself – at least, reality as he knew it. Which raises another question, of how real reality really is, for his new found life felt just as real as the old one. In this newfound reality of his, Hunter wasn't the last of the Time Lords – he was the only Time Lord to ever exist. Never before, nor ever again, would his kind walk this particular universe – for this everlasting, ever expanding perfect reality he'd stumbled upon did not nor ever would have a Gallifrey, or a Time War.

The young Time-Lord boarded on a stolen TARDIS, keen on going to the end of the universe and past, but instead found so much more. There was a crack, a crack in time and space, in the very walls of reality, hidden deep within the Medusa Cascade. Just wide enough for a TARDIS go slip inside, slip through, straight to another universe. It happened faster than the speed of light. In one moment he was fleeing the war, in the next, he was in a suburb. At least it looked like a suburb. Actually, no, it looked like an alley.  
>Stepping outside of his TARDIS, the first thing Hunter noticed was that everything looked different – even he did. But he hadn't regenerated, no. It was like- like the third dimension of <em>everything<em> had just disappeared. For no good reason what so ever. The second thing he noticed was that inside the TARDIS – currently disguised as a dumpster - the third dimension still existed. The third thing he noticed was that he was going to need a change of clothes. Leaving the alley, now dressed in dark jeans, a plain gray shirt and a black leather jacket, Hunter saw the cars pass by, the people going about with their days as if something was wrong – was it the lack of a third dimension? Or something else? The Time Lord didn't have to look too far for a restaurant – in fact, there was one right behind his alley – and once he did, Hunter could also tell it was about lunch time. He ordered some sushi, or maybe a lot of sushi, and was greeted by the staff singing about the seaweed being always greener at somebody else' lake. Maybe this was normal as well. Did the crack lead to a musical? Should Hunter prepare himself for dancing cats? He decided to look into it after lunch.

On his way back to the TARDIS, though, Hunter came to face with the definite proof that this was not a normal musical. The people were running now, something about a tornado or whatever, so boring. Everyone was running – everyone but the strange woman in the alley. No, she is dancing and singing, but she's also something else – she's desperate. She doesn't want to dance or sing, but it is quite clear that she does not have a choice.

"_Help!"_ she sings, flailing her arms open and swirling around herself. _"Won't you please,_ please, _help me?" _

Hunter stepped back, not sure what was going on. Not sure if it was safe to do anything. Instead, he observed as his woman – red hair and green eyes, tears streaming down her pale face – danced faster and faster, and then, as if the day couldn't get any more weird, the lady burst into flames. Out of nowhere, she just- burned, from inside out. The Time Lord stood there in shock, asking himself what the fuck had he just witnessed, when the sound of sirens made itself loud and clear above all else. Great, police officers were coming and here he was, standing in front of a burning lady. More out of instinct than anything else, Hunter jumped back into his TARDIS, leaving the door – lid? – cracked open just enough so he could see – and hear – these people. The cops arrived mere seconds afterwards, a deputy following the sheriff with a fire extinguisher, the younger cop opening his mouth to say something as he pointed the device to the now dead victim – only to instead watch in horror as _this girl is on fireeee_ came out of his own lips. Hunter had to stiff a laugh, a very inappropriate one at that, at the glares the sheriff gave the younger man.

The police was in there for a long time, and after a while Hunter decided to take what he'd learned about the place so far and see what else he could get from it on the TARDIS's computer. He moved quickly, already familiar with the interior of the ship despite only owning it for a few hours so far. He'd stolen it from the battlefield, knowing full well that it wasn't like whoever owed it was going to use it again. He watched, with his own eyes, as the previous owner of this ship died – at the hands of a Dalek. The man had barely left the ship, running to the front line like some kind of mad man. And so young, too – or at least he looked young. There's no way of knowing with Time Lords. He ran with a woman, a woman of long dark hair. Hunter only saw them from behind, but they both seemed to have some kind of deep connection. On their final moments, Hunter saw the mysterious couple holding hands. They fought until they couldn't fight anymore, and then they welcomed death as one. Just remembering it gave Hunter the chills, his blue eyes staring back at him on the TARDIS' monitor. It all happened so fast. He saw them fall, saw all the destruction around himself. He saw the TARDIS, and he knew. He knew he would die in that battlefield. He knew there was no winning this was. There was only mutually assured destruction. And in that moment, in that split second, Hunter proclaimed _no more_. He ran into the TARDIS, run as far away as he could. And the TARDIS brought him here. Lawndale, Tallahassee. Fucking Florida. In the- The early 2000s. No, no, the _late_ _1990s. _What the fuck.

When Hunter came out of his TARDIS once again, the alley was deserted. Choruses of _what if the town blows away? _and _the end of the world as we know it_ echoed in the air, one particular man driving by to the sounds of_ gah gah dammit_. A storm was coming. Less boring.

The only problem of investigating under those circumstances, of course, was that the only people still on the street were running for their lives. The storm soon passed, the tornado never making it to Lawndale, and the people were soon on the streets again. Singing about how weird that day had been. And on the next morning, they were still singing. Hunter was able to trace an absurd amount of energy to the local high school, and – dreading every moment of it – decided to go undercover. And thus, Mr. Hunter – Substitute Teacher was born.

His first class was a nightmare. Hunter always knew he wouldn't like children, he just never expected to fucking hate them so much. There was a girl – Sandra, Sandy, Sandi? Whatever – who had to be the result of scientific experiments. There was no other reason. The little Dalek was so damn vicious Hunter would have thought her to be an actual Dalek if not for her futility. Her and her little friends disturbed him the whole time he was standing there, actively stopping him from interrogating _anyone_. When the Asian girl opened her arms and started singing about _wheeen you're feeeling saaaad and loooow_ Hunter actually prayed for them to be Daleks. The next class was better. The concentration of energy was higher amongst that particular group of people. It had to be one of them.

"Excuse-me," asked a girl in glasses, surprisingly not singing. "Who are you?"

"I'm the substitute literature teacher," the Time Lord replied, keeping his face blank. "And I don't have a plan or anything telling me _where_ you are in this subject, so- Just do as you usually do- Yes…" he turned to look at a boy on a football uniform who had his hand raised. "…You?"

"Kevin" the boy said, smiling widely. "I'm the QB. And we're in class, man!"

The blond cheerleader next to him giggled, but what really scared Hunter was that they were serious. "Brittany, cheer leader?" the girl introduced herself, probably just following her boyfriend's lead "Yes, aren't we, like, in school?" she followed.

The teacher was about to answer when yet another student raised her hand. "Jane Lane, Daily Planet. What do you have to say about the recent epidemic of _braineaditis_ afflicting our youth?"

Hunter cracked a smile at that. He was about to answer, when the students on the back began to sing – quietly at first, but louder with every word – "_Domo arigato, Mr. Roboto_" and the sudden realization came over him – the energy was so strong it was affecting him now.

When his musical number was finally over, the class had been dismissed – a single song, which apparently had taken them all of 40 minutes for some reason. He was sitting on his desk, trying to figure out what the hell had just happened, when a voice broke him out of his trance. "So, what is your secret?"

Hunter looked up to find the girl in glasses and the other one – Jane Lane – were standing next to him. "_She_ thinks you're an alien-" Jane spoke now, a soft smirk playing on her lips. "-but I say you're a robot. If I were a robot, '_I'm not a robot_' is exactly what I'd say."

The Time Lord stared at them blankly for a moment. "What?" was the best cover he could come up with.

"You said you've come to help." The girl in the glasses spoke again. "Could that possibly be related to the outbursts of music and the several cases of spontaneous combustion?"

"It was on Sick, Sad World last night" Jane shrugged, and the Time Lord just stared at them blankly for a few seconds, until finally deciding to trust them. Worst case scenario, he finds a new place to live.

"Yes." He said, simply.

"Okay. I'm Daria."

"Jane."

"Hunter."

"Okay." The Time Lord got up. "Whatever the hell is causing all of this, it's coming from this school."

The girl in glasses – Daria – was about to say something, when a scream could be heard. "Shit" Hunter muttered under his breath, running towards the sound, and being followed closely by the two students – and several others, after them. The screams led them to a door marked as _Principal's Office_, and what waited for them inside was something they could never have predicted. A woman on her late 40s, the principal no doubt, was manically dancing in the middle of the room, singing something about the _highway to hell_, the smoke could be seen coming out of her. On the corner of the room, a man – no, not a man; a demon – with thick red skin, pointy ears and chin and several marks on his skin. His eyes were a deep shade of blue, matching his suit. He sat there with a wide smile, and a hunger in his eyes that Hunter had never seen before. It was Daria who sprang into action, running to the principal and trying to stop her. "Ms. Li!" the girl yelled, placing her hands on the educator's shoulders. "Stop".

The demon was no longer smiling and in seconds had gotten up to his feet. He stepped towards Daria, but faster than he'd gotten up, Hunter moved himself to stand on the space between the teen and the monster. Everybody had been silent, except for the girl – girls, Jane now had joined her, it seemed – trying to stop their principal, and the principal still singing, but then the woman stopped.

"In the holding tank I built for myself, it's feeding time"

The demon is smiling once again. Hunter is singing.

* * *

><p>The songs on this episode are as follows:<p>

Under The Sea - The Little Mermaid  
>Help - The Beatles<br>Girl On Fire - Alicia Keys  
>What If The Town Blows Away - Daria!<br>The End Of The World As We Know It - REM  
>Gah Gah Dammit! - Daria!<br>Spice Up Your Life - Spice Girls  
>Mr. Roboto - Styx<br>Highway To Hell - AC/DC  
>1 John 4:16 - The Mountain Goats<p> 


	2. Episode Two: Night Of The Hunter

**EPISODE TWO | NIGHT OF THE HUNTER**

* * *

><p>The room turned to look at the man, standing between the girl and the demon. "<em>And I start to feel afraid 'cause I'm the last one left in line<em>". In the few seconds that took for the attention to seek from her to the mysterious man, Ms. Li found it in herself to get the hell away from whatever the fuck was going on. A group of students surrounded the disturbance in no time, the demon sitting back down with yet another smile playing on his lips. He could sense how old Hunter was, his mouth watering with just the thought. "_The endless string of summer storms that led me to today, began one afternoon with you, long ago and far away_" The girls, once again, were the ones to sprint into action. Jane stepped up first, only to find that the demon was prepared this time, and with a single wave of his fingers, her mouth opened and her eyes narrowed as she defiantly sang. "Don't make me snap my fingers in a Z formation!" she yelled. "I've been left out alone like a damn criminal" Hunter stepped back in, a new wave of anger washing over him. "I've been praying for help cause I can't take it all, and I'm not done, it's not over!"  
>"Une, deux, trois, cinq" Jane smirked<br>"Now I'm fighting this war since the day of the fall" Hunter stepped – danced? – forward, poking his finger at the demon's chest. "Pray to your God, Open your Heart" Jane pointed at him, stepping forward as well. It all happened so damn fast, but Daria saw the smile on the demon's lips, the twinkle on his eyes, and then his words came on crashing. "_Oh, I'm hungry like the Wolf!"_ he howled, and a shiver ran through the girl's spine.  
>"He's feeding on this" she whispered to herself, turning to look at her peers. She opened her mouth to speak, but the music changed once again, and she felt it come over her. "Ach! We've got to get out of this trap before this decadence saps our will!" she cried out, "I've got to be strong and try to hang on-" she took a deep breath, the audience now staring at her as well. <em>"Everybody!" <em>she yelled, the closest thing to cheerful anyone had ever heard from her. It seemed to do the trick, though. Smoke was coming out of Hunter and Jane, when a torrent of voices seemed to wash over the room.  
>"<em>Looking out a dirty old window, down below the cars in the city go rushing by<em>" Jodie joined, deeper and more serious than the original version of the song. "_In the halls a bell gives way to a larger swell_" Daria sung from the top of her lungs, a smirk playing on her lips as she stepped towards the mysterious creature. "_He had it coming!"_ hollered Ms. Barch. _"I hate these blurred lines!"_ cried out Upchuck, being the nastiest person in the room. "_DON'T cry OUTLOUD_" Mr. DeMartino joined, a stack of papers on his hands. _"Just KEEP it INSIDE- LEARN how to HIDE your FEELINGS_". From somewhere down the hall, Ms. Li could be heard singing something about a cocaine hurricane. Daria's eyes never left the yet-unnamed stranger, and she watched as he grew overwhelmed and then finally disappeared in front of their very eyes. Hunter and Jane both fell to the ground, exhausted but still alive. "What the hell just happened?" Jane asked, turning to the substitute teacher.

So Hunter told them everything. Or at least everything he deemed necessary. The red-skinned man was a demon, that much was clear. A quick search on his TARDIS' computer should bring up something about the man. He told them about the TARDIS being his home, his ship. ("So you _are_ an alien!" Jane said, angrily handing Daria a $10. "I hate you already."). A quick search revealed that the creature - Sweet, it turned out - was a very particular brand of demon. He'd been spotted in several points over time, according to the TARDIS database. The fall of Rome, Pompeii, a city named Sunnydale, the Berlin wall, _Lawndale_ just now, the battle of- "Oh, can't read that one" the Time Lord said, turning the screen away. "The future. Never a good idea to learn the key points".

"So you have a spaceship" Daria spoke, after several minutes quiet. "That just happens to be a dumpster, and also bigger on the inside."

"No, Daria, he's got a spaceship that is bigger on the inside and just so happens to also be a dumpster" Jane interjected. They turned to find Hunter glaring at them. "Hey, I'm not judging. You should see my brother's car".

The Time Lord turned back to the screen. "Hm. So, it says here that this _Sweet_ dude has to be summoned" he turned to look back at the girls. "Is there anyone at your school who you think could've summoned a demon for whatever reason?"

Jane answered with another question. "What planet are you from?"

"Do you happen to know any Holidays?" Daria jumped in.

"Daria, _please_!" Jane reacted with fake shock. "Not _all_ crazy unexplainable things know each other!" Hunter rolled his eyes.

"There are several goths in our school," Daria leaned against the surprisingly clean wall of the dumpster-spaceship. "Now, seriously, do you know any Holidays? The way to their place is through a hole just behind your spaceship".

That seemed to capture the alien's attention. "What?"

"A hole, just behind your spaceship. It's big and round and it leads to Holiday Island" Jane shrugged. "How about Scarlet?" She turned to Daria.

"Nah, she hates the sound of her own voice. Maybe Andrea?" Daria scratched her chin thoughtfully.

"Wait, you're telling me you've went through a hole in a wall to another dimension?" Hunter shook his head.

"Yeah, a few days ago" Daria answered, as if it was nothing. "Why?"

"Nah. This whole thing is too cheerful for her." Jane chuckled, thinking for a moment. "Hey, can't we just look on that computer of yours and see who did it?"

"Was it, like, a vortex thing?" He turned to another screen, searching for wormholes, blackholes and time vortexes around. What he found, though, was a crack in reality – like the one that brought him there. _Exactly_ the one that brought him there. "Great. You've been to another universe. That's just peachy."

"Hey, chillax man!" Jane raised her hands, holding back a laugh. "We're alive. We didn't step on any butterflies or anything. Right, amiga?"

"How about Kristen?" Daria stepped forward.

"Who?" Jane raised an eyebrow.

"The other goth girl"

"Oh, no. She's mute." Jane shook her head.

"Hm"

"Do you even give a shit that you could have ripped apart all of reality?" Hunter leaned against the console of the TARDIS, arms crossed.

"Not really" Daria shrugged.

"Have you seen reality?" Jane chimed in. "It kind of sucks"

Hunter stood silent for a moment. Well, he did escape his own reality the same way.

"How about Bob?" Jane turned to her best friend. "You know, blue hair, tons of piercings"

"Maybe."

"Maybe is good enough for me" Hunter shrugged, retrieving his jacket from the back of a chair and making his way to the door, followed closely by both Daria and Jane.

"Should I care that none of this makes any sense?" Jane whispered to her friend.

* * *

><p>Somewhere in Lawndale High, a demon and a boy were arguing. "I didn't want you to <em>kill<em> all these people!" the teenager yelled. "Dude, what the fuck?"

The demon rolled his eyes. "Yeah, and I'm really Sarah Michelle Gellar"

"Wow, really?" the boy stepped forward, a huge smile on his lips. "Dude, now I totally want to marry you!"

"Not really you fucking idiot!" the demon roared. "_They all deserve to die! Even you, young Robert, even I!"_

* * *

><p>On their way to the school, they saw chaos everywhere. A man ("is that your dad?" Asked Jane. "He's my… Hm… Uncle" answered Daria, on her best Quinn impression) chased a boy ("Is that Jeffy?" Daria asked. "I think it's Jamie." Jane replied) waving a shotgun in the air ("Does your uncle even know how to use a shotgun?" Hunter joined the conversation), yelling "gah gah dammit!" of the top of his lungs while a red-haired girl ("Wasn't that your-?" Jane smirked. "Cousin" Daria let out a short laugh) followed them both while screaming-singing "<em>Daddy please don't, we're gonna get married!"<em>

When the trio arrived at the school in a few short minutes, they found things weren't any better there. Ms. Li had refused to allow her students to leave early, insisting that nothing was out of the ordinary and muttering something about _blaming_ _it on the alcohol_. Daria thought about making a remark about the principal clearly having a problem, but decided that would qualify as participating, and she just couldn't have that on her permanent record. Also, Ms. Li would kill her for even suggesting it.

In one classroom, they saw a young man – "Mr. O'Neil", Daria named him – lying on a table, looking positively aroused and yet terrified as a slightly older lady – "Ms. Barch", Jane provided – practically lied on top of him, nearly smothering him with her breasks, as she sang in a tone that was both terrifying and teasing. "_Yeah, I get a little crazy with the razorblades. Go on and call your mama if you need a band-aid-_". The sight was traumatizing for Hunter, and he didn't even know these people. On another classroom, a group of kids whom Daria and Jane both swore they had never seen before sung Journey's _Don't Stop Believin'._

Down the hall, Bob – surrounded by the other goths, punks and rockers – played air guitar and yelled from the top of his lungs _"I am an Antichrist! I am an anarchist!"_ Daria, Jane and Hunter exchanged looks.

They surrounded the misfits, Hunter standing with his arms crossed over his chest, Daria and Jane right behind him. "Hey, Bob!" Jane waved, Hunter giving her a side-look. "What? We have English together"

"Where's the amulet?" Hunter asked, rather rudely.

"What?" the teenager raised an eyebrow, reaching into his pocket for a pack of cigarettes. "Dude, you okay?"

"Don't smoke indoors!" Hunter took the pack of cigarettes from his hands, which caused the group of misfits on their immediate surroundings to stop and stare at him. "It's illegal!"

"No it isn't" Jane was the one to give him a look this time.

"Oh. Sorry, wrong year" he handed the pack of cigarettes back to the blue-haired boy.

"Although, seeing that Bob _is_ underage, smoking _anywhere _is illegal for him" Jane shrugged, and Hunter let out a groan of frustration.

"What amulet?" Bob brought a cigarette to his lips, lighting it and making a point of blowing the smoke at Hunter's direction.

"The one you used to summon Sweet." Hunter leaned on his hand against the wall behind Bob, attempting to corner him, which only caused the misfits around them to step closer. "You know, the Demon."

"Hm, Hunter, the badboys have started snapping their fingers…" Jane warned, taking a step back.

"And how do you know it was me?" Bob took another drag.

"Elimination" Daria stepped in, pulling Hunter away from the smoking punk. "You're the only one in your group without a reason not to do it."

"And why does it have to be one of us?" Kristen crossed her arms, narrowing her eyes at the three intruders.

"Holy shit, you can talk?" Jane stared at her in shock.

"Not to be rude-" Hunter cleared his throat "but isn't this whole 'darkness' thing kind of your deal?" he looked from one teenage misfit to the other. "I mean, what with all the…" his eyes set on Andrea

"Dude, I work at Payday" she glared at him.

"Oh." He blinked.

"Anyways, how do we know it wasn't any of you freaks?" Scarlet placed a hand on Andrea's shoulder.

"Yeah. Who's to say it wasn't the Misery Chick?" Bob chuckled, narrowing his eyes at Daria.

"Point taken." Daria kept her expression blank. "It wasn't them."

"Then who was it?" Jane shook her head. Just then, a scream was heard from a class room.

"Try following the screams, Ghostbusters". Bob laughed. And follow the screams they did.

In a classroom, the group found a teacher – "Mr. DeMartino", both girls said at the same time – dancing frantically. "_FUCK the Harlem SHAKE"_ he sung.

In the corner of the room, there he was once again. The demon. This time, though, he had a young man by his side. "Robert?" Jane called, surprised to see him there. The young man took off his headphones, looking at her with a smile. Dangling from his neck, the amulet.

Hunter was the first to spring to action this time. "_The young man stands on the edge of his porch. The days were short and the father was gone-_"

Sweet had turned to him now, with a smile playing on his lips. "_The street's a liar, I'm gonna lure you into the dark_"

"Robert what the hell?" Jane yelled from the door. The boy just smiled at her.

"_There was no one in the town and no one in the field- This dusty barren land had given all it could yield_" Hunter stepped closer.

"Robert, stop this!" Jane yelled once again. She knew that boy, they went to middle school together.

"_My cold desire to hear the boom, boom, boom of your heart_" Sweet smirked, walking towards the Time Lord.

"_You wanna laugh, it's too absurd. You start to ask, can't hear a word- You're gonna crash and burn!_" Jane stepped closer, pleading with her childhood friend

"_Right, tell me more!"_ the brown-haired young man smirked, his eyes filled with a rage never before seen.

"_You start to cave, you start to cry! You try to run, nowhere to hide!_" Sweet placed both hands on Hunter's shoulders, bringing the Time Lord to the ground. Smoke was coming out of him once again, and Robert watched it all with a smile on his lips.

"_One, two, Daria's coming for you-_" the voice came from behind, making both Sweet and Robert turn around. In doing so, both of them only had time to see the girl in glasses pulling the amulet from the boy's neck. Sweet's hands let go of Hunter instantly, and the singing and dancing stopped altogether. Robert tried to take it back, but Sweet was quick to hold him now. "Now what?" she asked.

Hunter regained his breath. "Now Sweet must marry his master", he said, tired.

"Oh, _hell no_" Daria took a step back, but the demon didn't move. A thought crossed her mind, and it also did his, for you could see his eyes bulge.

"No-" Sweet whispered, but Daria just smirked. She closed her hand around the amulet, pressing tightly. "Daria, _no_!" He screamed, letting go of Robert – who fell on the ground in flames – and stepping towards her. But it was Hunter who reached Daria first.

"You can't" he said, pulling the amulet by its necklace from her hands. The Time Lord turned to look at the demon, who had a certain look of gratitude in his eyes. "Now, you almost killed me twice. There is nothing I would like more than to watch you burn." He said, flatly. "But unfortunately, I can't kill you."

"How come?" Jane crossed her arms.

"I told you it's never a good idea to learn key points of the future." He said, somehow defeated. "But it's okay. I know for a fact he won't kill us" the Time Lord said, handing the demon back his amulet. "In fact, we won't even see each other for a very long time."

Sweet just smiled. "I never run into the same humans twice."

"We'll see about that." Hunter winked.

* * *

><p>"Are you telling me that your spaceship dumpster is also a time machine?" Daria raised an eyebrow at the alien.<p>

"Is there anything this ugly metal box _can't_ do?" Jane asked in mock-amusement.

"I can prove it to you." he said, leaning against the dumpster-spaceship-time machine. "Pick a time, any time."

"Why? Isn't the present bad enough?" Daria said in her perfect Daria tone.

"Oh, come on, it'll be an adventure!" Jane smirked. "Ancient Rome. I wanna bitch-slap Hercules for no particular reason."

Hunter smiled. "Well then, stepped inside" he jumped into the metal box.

* * *

><p>Songlist for this episode (the last musical episode in a very, very long time):<p>

1 John 4:16 - The Mountain Goats  
>Don't Make Me Snap My Fingers - Savion Simone<br>Shot In The Dark - Within Temptation  
>Night Of The Hunter - 30 Seconds To Mars<br>Hungry Like The Wolf - Duran Duran  
>Don't Dream It, Be It - The Rocky Horror Show<br>Kids In America - Kim Wilde  
>Mount Wroclai - Beirut<br>Cell Block Tango - Chicago  
>Blurred Lines - Robin Thicke<br>Don't Cry Out Loud - Diana DeGarmo  
>Cocaine Hurricane - Wild Child<br>Epiphany - Sweeny Todd  
>Blame It On The Alcohol - Jamie Foxx (Ft. T-Pain)<br>Take It Like A Man - Dragonette  
>Run Joey Run - David Geddes<br>Don't Stop Believin' - Journey  
>Anarchy In The UK - The Sex Pistols<br>Harlem Shake - Midnight Beast Edition  
>Dust Bowl Dance - Mumford &amp; Sons<br>Kill Of The Night - Gin Wigmore  
>And Then There Were None - Spring Awekening<br>Freddy's Theme - A Nightmare On Elm Street


	3. Episode Three: Sealed With A Stab

**EPISODE THREE |****SEALED WITH A STAB**

The grunts of the ship's engine coming to a stop startled the girls – mostly because they didn't realize the ship had been moving to begin with. ("It doesn't work like that," Hunter had explained. "It's more like a disappear-here-reappears-there kind of deal"). "This ship is meant to be piloted by six different people, but because there's only one of me I have to hit the emergency brakes instead" the Time Lord explained with a shrug as he walked towards the door. "Now, before you leave this ship, you have to promise not to change anything big." He turned to look at them. "I mean it. This is the past, big changes could fuck everything up real bad."

The girls nodded. "Sure" Jane shrugged. "Butterfly effect and all"

Hunter made a noise. "Awful movie, right?" he chuckled, and the girls stared at him blankly once again. "Right, sorry, wrong year. What was hip in 1999?" he asked himself, turning to open the door.

"There is a fairly good chance I'm in a mental hospital right now," Daria said, glancing at her friend. "And that this is the weirdest mental breakdown ever."

When they stepped outside of the TARDIS, their biggest surprise wasn't that they were actually standing somewhere other than Lawndale. No, the girls instead stared in shock at each other as something weird happened to them. Stepping out of the ship, it was as if a whole new dimension was born. Daria turned to look at Jane, only to find that the brunette's face had literally changed in shape. "Aah!" she screamed in shock at how Jane's features seemed to be coming towards her, only to be greeted by an identical "Aah!" coming from Jane herself, surprised that Daria's face now had depth. They saw the same happen to Hunter earlier, inside the ship – the whole ship had a different appearance than what they were used to, but then again the ship was bigger on the inside. The girls had just assumed this weird, lumpy, pop-up appearance was what aliens looked like on their natural habitat. But now, for some ungodly reason, they looked just the same. "What the hell is going on with your face?" they both asked at the same time.

Hunter turned to look at them, caught by surprise by the screams. Once he saw them, he understood. "It's okay, it's okay, calm down-" he started, raising his hands. "It's the TARDIS, it features a psychic circuit that is still connected to your heads. It's the same thing that made you see me like – well, flat and 2d" he stopped for a moment, both girls glaring at him. "Which is a great look, for some people! It's quite neat, actually. The Polyglot feature translates everything and the Chameleon Circuit adapts our appearance so we don't stand out like- well, like aliens. It's basically a perception filter, it doesn't really mutate your body or anything- it just convinces everyone you look different."

The girls stared at him. "But I asked to see Rome. _Not_ a different planet. Why do we look like-" she glanced down at herself, and then at her best friend. "-Well, _aliens_?"

Hunter had to think for a moment. "I'm not sure. Something is definitely weird about this universe" he scratched his chin. "At first I thought _everyone_ looked like that- like you, but now…"

"Let's just find Hercules and get the hell out of here, okay?" Jane crossed her arms. "This whole thing is giving me the creeps. Where could he be?"

"On Greece." Daria spoke up, a smirk on her voice (but not her lips).

"You mean, not at Rome? Damn you, basic geography!" the brunette shook her fist at the air. "What do you think he's doing?"

"He's probably busy. Being a fictional character." Daria pointed, sarcastically.

"Damn you basic logic!" Jane shook her fist at the sky once again.

"Actually," Hunter turned to them. "There's a good chance that he's real."

"You're kidding, right?" Daria was the one to ask, this time without sarcasm.

"I mean, he _is_ a hottie, but-" Jane followed up. "The implications of him actually being real would be _terrifying_. He can't exist."

Hunter stood silent for a moment. "This whole universe can't exist." He said, then, flatly. "The hole in that wall, that shouldn't lead to a different universe. It's not a wormhole or a manifestation of the Time Vortex – it's a crack in reality. It should lead into nothingness."

"Instead it leads to Holiday Island" Daria followed, turning to look at Jane. She wasn't a fan of sci-fi but this was starting to get interesting.

"Or Lawndale." He said, then. "It's how I got to this universe to begin with. And now I find that it has more or less dimensions depending on when I land?"

"But why were you-?" Jane started, but she didn't have the chance to finish that thought. "Get down!" she yelled, instead, and just in time. As the three of them threw themselves in the ground, a gold-and-silver blur flew in over their heads, hit the TARDIS – which went from looking like a block of marble to looking like Michelangelo's _David_ upon the impact because why not – and then back where it came from. At the same time, a high-pitched scream could be heard echoing through the skies. It lasted just a few seconds, and then the noise grew closer. "What the hell-?"

From the distance, what looked like a lumpy, 3d Lucy Lawless came their way. "Is that…?" Daria started asking, but she, too, didn't have a chance to finish that though. The 3D-Lucy-Lawless wasn't alone. In fact, there was a whole freaking army following her. No, not following, _chasing_. Lucy Lawless fighting and army. In leather. "I think we accidentally traveled into Upchuck's dream journal by accident"

"No such luck, _amiga_" Jane pointed at the blonde girl fighting off two centurions with a stick. "If this _were_ Upchuck's doing they'd be making out."

A silence hung above the three for a few moments – well, as close to a silence as you can get when two women are fighting an army over there – until Hunter got up, followed by the two unsure girls, and made his way to the fight. Hunter reached into his pocket for a couple of weapons, CLDs he called them ("It stands for _Compact Laser Deluxe_" he'd tell the girls later), which he used to kill four centurions in a matter of seconds. Most of the eyes turned to look at the man in funny clothes with a freaking ray gun, Daria and Jane just as surprised as everyone else ("What do you _mean_ you had guns the whole time and didn't just shoot that demon guy the first time he almost killed you?" Daria would ask him later, in a rage. "I had to _sing_ _in public_ to save your time-travelling ass!" "Like a cheerleader!" Jane would then add, and Daria would just glare at her. "Not helping"). The army of romans was now coming their way, which Daria could say was very very bad.

The fight went on, Jane proving to be surprisingly good with stones ("it's all in the panic," she'd brag. "You'd be surprised with how good you can be at any physical activity once your life depends on it"), and Daria's cutting sarcasm not doing so great ("A sword fight. In ancient Rome. How original" she'd tried, the centurion simply ignored her, and the blonde girl could be heard yelling from five corpses away "what do you mean ancient?"), so instead she tried using one of the dead guys' swords.

Hunter was blasting his guns at the enemy centurions, having way too much fun at doing so, and 3D-Lucy-Lawless had her chakram decapitating five at a time when screams disrupted their concentration. The enemy was retreating, good. The enemy had captured Daria and the blonde girl, not good.

"Who the fuck are you?" 3D-Lucy-Lawless asked, dashing towards the Time-Lord with her sword at hand.

"Who the fuck are you?" he tried, a CLD pointed at the woman in leather clothes.

"I asked you first" 3D-Lucy-Lawless smirked

"I asked you second" Hunter raised an eyebrow

"Oh, for crying out loud!" Jane rolled her eyes, dropping the stones she still had on her hands. "Really?" she stepped between Hunter and the woman, eyes narrowing at him. "You know Hercules but you've never heard of Xena?" she then turned to look at the woman. "You're Xena, right? You look like Xena. I mean, a lumpy, 3D version of Xena, but whatever-" she turned back to Hunter. "The blonde chick is Gabrielle. She's Xena's girlfriend, and-"

"Woah" Xena raised her hands way too quickly, a slight blush spreading through her face. "Girlfriend?" he let out a forced laugh. "No way- She's my friend. Just my friend"

Jane looked at her from over her shoulder. "Right. Sorry. Wrong year" she turned back to Hunter. "Ok, so still-not-out Xena over here is a heroine, man. She saves people and shit. Seriously it's on syndication, how do you _not_ know about Xena?"

Xena, on her end, had so many questions. 'Who are you people?', 'Where did you come from?', 'what the fuck is syndication?'. Instead, the warrior decided to focus on the problem at hand. "They have Gabrielle" she said, her voice all business. "And the girl with the weird green clothes-"

"Daria" Jane turned to her again, her voice also a lot more serious. Too serious for a kid her age, Xena would argue. "My best friend. We weren't even supposed to be here, I just made a joke about slapping Hercules to this guy-" she waved a hand at Hunter's general direction "because of course I didn't believe his freaking Time Machine was going to work-" Xena listened to everything silently, nodding when she thought she should, despite the fact that nothing made any sense. "-But anyways, _where_ did they take our friends?"

* * *

><p>When Daria came to, she found herself in a dark dungeon. There was a noise, people moaning and begging for mercy in the distance. Her glasses were cracked. Great. "Are you okay?" asked a stranger, and when she turned to look at said stranger, she found it was the blond girl from earlier. "I'm Gabrielle," the girl said, offering her a reassuring smile. "Don't worry, my friend Xena will get us out of here".<p>

Daria didn't have it in herself to be sarcastic. Not now, anyways. "I'm going to die in ancient Rome." She said, instead. "I haven't even been born yet, and I'm going to die."

Gabrielle just placed a hand on the girl's shoulder, trying her best to be reassuring.

The door opened just then, and a man who looked not quite like a centurion walked in – he had a square jaw, brown eyes and hair with just a hint of stubble on his face, and if his clothes were a clue, he seemed more like a Praetorian Guard. ("Damn DeMartino and his damn history classes"). "The Emperor will see you now".

* * *

><p>"So the statue is a Time Machine?" Xena asked, arms crossed and a skeptical look that would make Daria feel proud. "And also a spaceship?"<p>

"And bigger on the inside!" Jane added, with fake enthusiasm. "We can show you, can't we, Hunter?"

Hunter, on his end, found himself angrily tugging at the statue's _parts_, as that seemed to be the closest thing to a handle he could find.

* * *

><p>The guard took Gabrielle away, and Daria found herself alone in their cell. No, not alone. "They're coming, you know?" asked a woman with a heavy British accent. Daria turned to look at her, she had blonde unwashed hair and her clothes seemed to be rags. "Your friends. They're coming to find you."<p>

The girl just nodded, but the mysterious prisoner kept going. "But they're not coming here. You need to find them out there" she got up, took a step towards the door. "You need to find them while there's still time."

"You mean I need to bust out?" Daria asked, raising an eyebrow. "Aren't the guards going to kill me if I try to escape?"

"They'll kill you either way" was the response.

Daria thought about that for a moment.

* * *

><p>"It- It-" Xena tried to think of something to say, but couldn't really come up with anything. "Fuck". Hunter just smirked.<p>

"We need to be quiet, so I'm going to need you guys to help me" he said, walking towards the control panel. "Jane, you press this button when I tell you to" he gave a few steps to the side. "Xena, I'm going to need you to pull this lever, okay?" The woman just nodded and he went to his own position – his usual position on the control panel. "We're going to stop this baby how it's supposed to be done"

* * *

><p>Daria agreed with the mysterious woman. They both tried to open the door, and then the British blonde lady actually did it. "Off you go," she said, pushing Daria out of the cell.<p>

"How about you?" Daria turned to look at the stranger. "Aren't you going to escape with me?"

"Don't worry about me," she said.

Daria stared at her for a second. "What's your name?" she asked.

"They call me Lupo Cattivo." The stranger smiled. Daria nodded, and started running down the hall.

* * *

><p>The TARDIS landed – quietly for once – in a room far south. The trio made its way down the large halls of the castle, searching for a way to reach the dungeons, when they came across the Throne. In it, sat a man who Jane thought looked like a young Malcolm McDowell ("I've seen A Clockwork Orange a thousand times"). "Oh shit" Hunter whispered, recognizing that Evan-Peters-look-a-like almost instantly. "That's Caligula."<p>

Caligula had Gabrielle when the strangers arrived. She seemed bruised and beaten, and Jane knew of his reputation – she couldn't think of what tortures the man had in store for Gabrielle, and she found herself asking if Daria was still alive. "She is," Gabrielle told her, through a mouthful of blood as she helped her up.

"Hunter, now's the time to use that ray gun of yours" Jane called.

His voice was torn when he answered. "I can't kill Caligula!"

"I can" Xena pat, furious as she ran towards the emperor of Rome. That was why she was there to begin with, even before he dared touch Gabrielle.

The Guards in the room made a move, but with a gesture of his hands Caligula had them stop. The Emperor wanted to take Xena himself.

"Jane!" the voice called, and the brunette looked over her shoulder to see her best friend entering the throne room.

"How sweet," the Emperor said, his voice dripping with sarcasm. "You can all die together!" He signed for the guards to make their move, and they did. The room was now a bloody battlefield as Hunter blasted through one of the guards with his CLD, while Jane did the same with the weapon he'd handed her inside the TARDIS ("Cybermen technology, very dangerous" he'd said), Daria once again fighting with a dead man's sword, and Gabrielle using all of her strength to avoid the attacks from one of the guards. In the middle of this mess, Daria was the only one to see the guard from before entering the room – she was going to say something, but he brought his finger to his lip on the universal sign for silence, and she could see there was something in his eyes. He moved stealthily and in a matter of seconds had his sword out. Daria thought he was going to attack Xena.

"Watch out!" she screamed, but instead, the guard's sword went on the Emperor's back. It all dawned on her, 'damn DeMartino's damn history classes' came back to her as a flashback once again. The other guards had stopped attacking, and as the Emperor bled to death on the floor, the guard helped Xena to her feet. "You're Cassius" she said, and the man just smiled.

"Sorry about earlier," he said, putting away his bloody sword. "I had to wait for the right time."

* * *

><p>"So you know Hercules, right?" Jane asked, a gleam in his eyes. "What's he like? Does he look like a young Kevin Sorbo or an older Disney cartoon?"<p>

Xena stared at the girl for a few moments. She had no idea who those men were. "Why did you want to slap him?"

Jane shrugged. "He's handsome, and strong, and possibly not real. What girl could resist?" Xena rolled her eyes.

Hunter had repaired Daria's glasses. "Now what?" she'd asked Cassius.

"Caligula's family is still out there," the guard answered, and Daria shivered at the thought.

Gabrielle was good as new, thanks to the nanogenes Hunter had found on the TARDIS. She thanked him, and he just told her to be more careful in the future.

Daria and Gabrielle bid their goodbyes, Hunter and Cassius too. "Watch out for Claudius," the Time Lord warned the man.

Jane moved to talk to Gabrielle, Hunter and Xena having a conversation in front of the statue-spaceship-time-machine.

"You can't do this to them," the warrior told him, glancing at the girls. "They're just kids. It's too dangerous."

Hunter nodded. "I know."

"Then why do you do it?" she asked.

The Time Lord stood silent for a moment. "I have no one else."

"You know," Jane smiled at the blonde girl in front of her, leaning in close. "She likes you. Like, she _like_ likes you."

Gabrielle blushed, much like Xena had earlier. "What? Don't be ridiculous, why would she-"

Jane just smiled. "Make sure to tell her you feel the same way. Something tells me you two are meant to be together"

Gabrielle nodded, and Jane hugged her – full on hugged her. Daria was somewhat surprised, but then again, it isn't every day you meet some of your favorite characters. She could see why Jane would hug. The trio moved back to the TARDIS, and the new friends they'd made watched it disappear. Gabrielle and Cassius stared in shock as Xena just let out a small laugh. She'd have fun explaining that to them.


	4. Episode Four: A Link To The Future

**EPISODE FOUR | A LINK TO THE FUTURE**

The TARDIS landed silently. It still didn't have the correct amount of pilots, but three were better than one and at least parking was possible again. "Here we are," the Time Lord said, stepping away from the control panel and towards the door of his ship, followed by the two girls. "Lawndale"

There were a few seconds of silence hanging in the air, before Jane decided to break said silence. "Wait, you brought us back home?" She asked, incredulous. "I mean, okay, there was some kidnapping, and some fighting, and _freaking Caligula_, but I mean, are you really going to just drop us home? We're just learning to fight this thing!"

"Not quite," the brown-haired man turned around, standing between the girls and the door. "We're in 2014. I need to go check on something." He let his eyes glance over Daria for a moment. She'd been awfully quiet since they'd returned to the TARDIS, even Jane had noticed. The black-haired girl just assumed Daria would talk once she was ready, but Hunter wasn't so sure – which is why he used the TARDIS to check if she was okay. He didn't mean to pry, not really. It was just a quick check, to see how she was dealing with the whole _being captured_ thing. To see if she needed to talk to someone. But what he found instead changed the focus of everything. _Lupo Cattivo_. The Big Bad Wolf. A woman, a young woman with dirty blonde hair – actual dirty hair, not dark blonde –, ragged dirty clothes, deep brown eyes. She was just a woman, Bad Wolf was just a name.

But it wasn't. It clicked on Hunter's mind, like a song you know you've heard before but you're not sure when or where, or even what song it is. You just know you've heard it before. So Hunter looked, he looked for hours on end, all over time and space, for this Bad Wolf. And he found her. He found her again and again and again. He found the words _Bad Wolf_ painted on the walls, broadcasted on television and radio, he saw the blonde woman watching over him – just a face in the crowd back then, one of the countless nameless people caught in the middle of the Time War before he chose to leave. He found the lullaby he used to hear as a child, the fairy tales, the plush toy he used to hug it on his sleep. Bad Wolf had been there his whole life. No, not only his life. Daria had a plush doll too. Jane had a painting on her wall, of someone who was a woman and a wolf – _La Loba_.

The Time Lord had been silent for almost a minute now, both girls staring directly at him. "And…?" Jane spoke again, somewhat uncomfortable with the silence.

"Right. I need to go check on something." Hunter shook his head, going over his plan on his head once again. It wasn't that bright, but it was the best he could do. "Meanwhile you too are free to, you know, walk around and everything. Just-"

"Sweet!" Jane interrupted him, a big grin on her lips. "Come on, Daria, let's find out the lottery numbers for when we go back home"

Hunter stood blocking the way. "Just don't cross your own timeline, ok?" he crossed his arms, trying to maintain a serious non-psychotic expression. "I'm serious. You have no idea how much it would fuck everything up if you were to just run into your future selves."

Jane faked concern. "Dude, language."

Hunter rolled his eyes. "Come on, you're, like, 25!"

The girls just stared at him for a moment. "We're seventeen." Daria spoke up for the first time in a while. It was Hunter's turn to stare at them, a silent _oh_ on his lips.

"Sorry," he scratched the back of his neck awkwardly after a while. "You all just kind of look alike to me." This didn't seem to help his cause.

* * *

><p>As the girls walked through the streets of Lawndale, they were somewhat disappointed. It all looked just so… similar. Sure, <em>some <em>things were different – the people were dressed differently. They walked past a group of girls dressed much like a mixture of Daria and Jane. "_Dude, I'm telling you"_ one of the girls spoke up, she had glasses like Daria's and a weird phone on her hand (it was so small!). "_The original is like a million times better than the remake!_" said the voice that sounded so much like Quinn's it was uncomfortable. Daria and Jane traded glances as they walked away.

"Is it just me, or we're this generation's Fashion Club?" Daria asked, wondering if the popular kids were now unpopular.

"Has the world gone mad?" Jane asked in not-so-fake shock.

* * *

><p>The Time Lord stood in front of the house awkwardly, waiting after ringing the bell. He heard steps on the other side, a voice called '<em>coming!<em>' and in a few seconds the door was open. Standing in front of him was a woman on her early-30s. She wore a green leather jacket over a white shirt, black jeans and a pair of old combat boots. Her brown hair was cut just below her shoulder, she didn't have any glasses anymore, and as her brown eyes examined him, her unpainted lips curled in a smirk. "So _that's_ what we're doing in the future.

* * *

><p>Daria and Jane stood in front of the old Lane house – that <em>definitely<em> looked different, like it could use some painting or maybe a wrecking ball to its metaphorical face. "I'm not sure this is a good idea," Daria bit her lip nervously.

"Oh, come on Daria, don't be a party poop" Jane poked, turning to look at her friend. "We've graduated 12 years ago, I'm sure I moved out by now".

The door was opened to reveal Jane's older brother Trent. The trio stood staring at each other for a few moments. Trent had a growing gut, he'd be on his late 30s or early 40s by now and his face definitely showed it. His goatee had been replaced by a full own stubble, his hairline receding drastically in the past 15 years or so. He still wore the same clothes, or at least large versions of the same clothes, and by the looks of it, he still wasn't a rock star. Jane and Daria, on the other hand, looked like they hadn't changed a thing in that time – because they hadn't been through the last 15 years yet. Above them, the sun was shining in a beautiful blue sky.

"Woa, Janey-" Trent spoke after a while, his voice hoarse like he'd just woken up. "You're alive." Both girls stared at him in shock as his eyes shot open at the realization. "Holy shit, Janey!" the failed rock star stepped up, wrapping his arms around his little sister. "How are you doing that?"

"I'm just standing here" was Jane's response, still somewhat surprised. "What do you mean I'm _alive_?"

Trent let her go and watched her for a moment. "You really don't know?" he asked, eyes going from Jane to Daria and back to Jane until it finally dawned on him. "Wait a sec- you guys aren't from around here, are you?"

"If by _around here_ you mean whatever year this is, then no" Daria spoke, her voice too dry to be sarcastic. "Now do you mind explaining why you're surprised Jane's alive?"

"Oh man, I'm not supposed to tell you…" Trent spoke, stepping back inside. "You may come in." were his next words, spoken as if he'd rehearsed them.

"Uh, thanks?" Jane raised her eyebrows, stepping inside – followed closely by Daria, who closed the door behind them.

"Daria told me not to talk to you." Trent said after a few moments of quiet.

"_I_ told you not to talk to us?"

"No, not _you_" Trent kept looking at her. "Hey, you're wearing glasses again!"

"Still" Jane corrected him, glad to see some things hadn't change.

"Right. Yeah, still." He bit his lip. "Do you guys want a beer?"

"We're seventeen" Daria had to inform the oldest person in the room for the second time in a row.

"Hey, I could use a beer" Jane shrugged, and Daria glared at her. "What? I'm dead anyways."

* * *

><p>Hunter sat at the living room of the new-old Morgendorffer home, waiting for Daria to return with two cups of tea. "So you still live here?"<p>

"Me and the guys," came the answer from the kitchen. "But right now it's just me here." Hunter stayed silent, and the woman kept going. "Our parents moved to California a couple of years ago after they retired." She entered the room holding two cups of chamomile tea, Hunter's favorite as she remembered. "You just called me from there, actually"

"I did?" he asked, taking a sip of his cup.

Daria laughed. "Hell no. You're too busy with your new boyfriend to pick up the damn phone". Hunter had no idea what she was talking about, but it was good to know he hadn't died yet. "But I mean, the last I heard you were going to California for real. So, you know, don't go there now."

Hunter nodded. "What do you know about the Bad Wolf?"

* * *

><p>"So…" Trent tried to look for something to say. Everything was so quiet.<p>

"So, you still live here!" Jane spoke, her voice a bit too cheerful. She was clearly trying to avoid the big dead elephant in the room.

"Me and the guys" he shrugged.

"Are you still named _Mystik Spiral_?" Daria asked again, some of the sarcasm back in her voice.

"Yeah"

Silence once again.

* * *

><p>"That's right, it was around that time…" Daria thought out loud. "What do you want to know?"<p>

"What is it?"

"I can't tell you."

"Is it dangerous?"

"I can't tell you."

"Can you tell me anything about it?"

"Not really."

* * *

><p>The girls left the old Lane house around nightfall. ("Daria, you're wearing glasses again!" called one of the other band member as he walked past them. "We all live here, now" was Trent's response). They walked aimlessly for a little while, Daria trying to cheer up her best friend – but not really doing a great job. But then again, she was Daria.<p>

"You want to go to the school and see if Mr. DeMartino's eye have popped out already?" Daria tried, but Jane didn't say anything. "Or we could go look for Kevin and Brittany. I'm sure seeing them fail in the real world will put a smile on your face!" Silence once again. "Want to see if _Sick, Sad World_ is still on?"

"I'm going to die, Daria."

The girl in glasses swallowed hard at that. She tried to keep her head clear, think it through logically. "We don't know that for sure. Trent might have been mistaken. Wouldn't be the first time."

"He wasn't."

"You're not going to die." Daria spoke again after a few moments. "I won't let you."

"You won't let me?" Jane raised an eyebrow.

"I won't let you. If I have to kill the grim reaper myself." They stopped and Daria turned to her best friend, offering the closest thing to a supportive smile she could. "I know where Hunter keeps his alien guns, you know? Death is no match for alien guns."

Jane let out a short laugh, and Dariae wrapped her arms around her friend. "You are not going to die."

* * *

><p>The door under the Morgendorffers' stairs opened, and through came Jane Lane. She still looked 18, but her eyes were a lot older. "That's an oldie," she spoke, her red lips curling into a smile. "Did you finally figure out how to repeat faces?"<p>

Hunter stared at her for a moment. "No, I-"

"Remember that time we came to 2014?" Daria asked, looking over her shoulder and realization dawned on Jane.

"Oh. _Oh_. So _we're_ that thing you had to check!" Jane walks towards the duo, her hair like she'd just woken up. "That's cute."

"He was asking about the Bad Wolf" Daria told her and Jane let out a laugh.

"Oh, that's right, that hasn't happened yet" Jane shook her head. "Man, that was great"

Hunter just stared at them for a moment.

* * *

><p>"Hm, Daria, I don't think we're supposed to be here." Jane turned to look at her friend. It was night now, and they still hadn't heard from Hunter, so Daria decided to go to her place. ("We'll find future me and she'll tell you all about how there's no way in hell you die"). They were about to knock on the Morgendorffer door when a familiar voice caught their attention.<p>

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" the woman asked, her voice somehow deeper than it used to be. "You know this _is_ private property and all, so I can, like, legally shoot you and stuff"

Both girls turned around to find Quinn staring at them with the tiniest of guns on her hands – a pink one, with glitter. The redhead was caught by surprise, but dropped her gun almost instantly. "Oh my gosh you guys, look at you!"

"See? Quinn's not surprised you're alive." Daria turned to her friend with a smile

"You're alive?" Quinn seemed surprised by that.

The door opened, and through it came Hunter, Daria, and Jane. Both Darias and Both Janes stared at each other for a moment. "I _look_ alive." Jane spoke for a moment.

"I told you." Daria smiled, trying not to sound too relieved. She didn't want Jane to know she was freaking out.

Hunter held his head on his hand. "What did I tell you about crossing your own timeline?"

"Trent told me I was dead" Jane shrugs. "Daria told me he was high."

"He probably was," the older Daria smirked.

"But you are dead." Future Jane finished. "Well, I'm dead. Ish."

"Don't tell her anything else" Hunter jumped in. "Laws of time, remember?"

"Right" Not-so-dead Jane nodded, turning to her younger – but virtually identical – self. "Sorry kid, we don't want reality to explode."

"Have you seen reality?" Future Daria asked, the familiar sarcasm on her voice. "It kind of sucks."

The younger Daria and Jane let out a laugh at that. Jane seemed somewhat relieved to see that she wasn't as dead as she'd originally thought.

* * *

><p>The group returned to their TARDIS, but instead of the nagging Daria and Jane were expecting ("I told you! The <em>one<em> thing you couldn't do! And you _literally knocked at your own doors_!"), the Time Lord wrapped his arms around both girls. Neither of them said anything for a while.


	5. Episode Five: The Mystery Chick

**EPISODE FIVE | ****THE MYSTERY CHICK (HALLOWEEN SPECIAL)**

"Can you please remind me of why we're going home, again?" Jane asked out loud, her arms crossed and her face a mask of annoyance. "I've told both you already, I'm _fine_"

"I'm not" Daria said, her monotone the same as always.

"You just learned you're going to die sometime in the next 15 years," Hunter spoke up, looking away from the TARDIS console. "And because you saw it, then it is actually going to happen."

"Big whoop, they obviously figured out a cure for death by then, seeing that I'm, you know, _walking around looking alive and shit_" the black-haired girl rolled her eyes.

"No they didn't." Hunter raised an eyebrow, his voice the same tone as Daria's. The three of them stood in silence for a moment, until the grunts of the ship's engine coming to a stop disrupted it. The TARDIS needed three pilots to park properly, and Jane was- well, in no condition to be driving right now. Besides, the girls were 17. That's, like, 12. They shouldn't be driving. "Here we are. Home." Hunter smiled, walking to the door. "Well, your home."

The TARDIS was once again a dumpster behind the Good Time Chinese Restaurant, the door disguised as a lid – the gravitational shift being handled by several technical mumbo-jumbo parts of the ship.

"How long have we been gone?" Daria asked, then. "Not another 15 years, I hope."

"You've been gone three hours" Hunter smirked, walking/jumping out of the ship.

* * *

><p>At the Morgendorffer home, Trent Lane sat on the breakfast table with a glass of hot cocoa, courtesy of Quinn Morgendorffer. They were all alone, Helen having just recently eased back into work, and Jake still out there – still looking. Trent would be, too, but Quinn didn't want to be alone. He couldn't blame her, though. The past month had been hell on the Morgendorffers.<p>

It all started the day of the weird singing incident. The town still refused to acknowledge it, but it didn't matter now anyways. Not with something this big happening. Daria and Jane had been the first two, but they hadn't been the last.

Lawndale kids were going missing.

* * *

><p>The trio stood before the not-so-old Morgendorffer residence, awkwardly for a few moments. "They'll know something's up." Daria said, standing with her key on her hand. "It's been a week, I can't even remember how we were looking three hours ago!" She turned to Jane, her anxiety clear in her voice. "My hair is different, isn't it? They'll know it's been a week." She turned to Hunter now. "And you. They'll ask questions. Why are we hanging out with the substitute teacher? God they'll ask questions."<p>

"Daria calm down." Jane put a hand on her best friend's shoulder, hoping to be soothing. "They're not going to ask any questions. They're probably not even at home now."

Daria took a deep breath and nodded. Jane was right. It was a normal day in Lawndale, nobody would look twice at them. She opened the door, the three of them stepping inside. "Dad? Did you find anyth-" Quinn called from the kitchen, but her voice died in her throat the moment she stepped into the room. The glass of hot cocoa in her hands fell to the ground, and seconds later Trent rushed into the room from behind her.

"Quinn? What's-" he stopped as well, staring at the three people by the door.

"Daria!" Quinn practically screamed, but it wasn't like before. She seemed _happy_ to see her sister, relieved even. The redhead rushed to the group, wrapping her arms around the girl in glasses. "You're alive!"

"Déjà vu" Jane whispered to herself, not sure what was going on, but before he could say anything else, all hell broke loose.

"You sick fuck!" Trent roared, jumping on the Time Lord faster than any of the girls had seen him move before. "What did you do to my sister and Daria?"

"Trent, what the hell?" Jane yelled in shock, trying to separate the two. Quinn held Daria tighter, on the verge of tears, and that was when realization dawned on her.

"Quinn," Daria asked, not sure how to put it. "What day is this?"

"March 17" Quinn replied, turning to look at her sister. "Why?

* * *

><p>The four of them were sitting in the couches now, Hunter holding a pack of frozen peas to his face while Trent glared daggers at him. "So he didn't kidnap you?" Quinn asked. She had the phone on her hands, having literally just gotten out of a call with her mother. There had been tears, and now both the Morgendorffer parents were on their way – with the sheriff, and several other parents, although Daria didn't know about that last bit yet.<p>

"No," Jane said, trying to keep her voice cool and calm. "We just went on a little road trip, that's all."

"And you didn't even think to fucking call, to, I don't know, let us know you weren't dead in a fucking ditch?" Trent asked, anger and hurt mixed on his voice. Jane didn't know how to answer to that.

"But, like, why?" Quinn asked again, trying her best to understand – despite being angry and hurt herself.

"Hunter had a-" she stopped for a moment, not knowing how to follow up on that. _Dumpster spaceship time machine?_ "Car. He was going to, hm, Highland, and I saw an opportunity to, hm, reunite with old friends. I didn't expect to stay there for a month." She glared at Hunter, too.

"Bullshit." Quinn spat, her voice showing the full extent of her anger now. "The cops called the cops from Highland to see if you'd turned up there and nobody saw you there either. Even Beavis and Butt-head helped look for you."

"They did?" Daria asked, in shock. She didn't expect that from them.

"Well- They were questioned by the cops that one time." Quinn tried again. "Besides you didn't have any friends in Highland."

They were in silence once again.

"How about the other kids?" Trent spoke up, his words cold. He wasn't looking at the girls, his eyes still glued to Hunter, praying to God that the fucker would do something to justify him breaking his neck, but he was talking to them.

"What other kids?" Daria asked, clearly confused.

Quinn had to double check. Like, where the hell had Daria been that they didn't have, like, the TV? "Several other students have, like, gone missing this past month."

"And you are the main suspect." Trent spat, eyes narrowing at Hunter.

"Wait, what?" The three asked, in shock.

Quinn was about to say something, but in that moment the door opened, Helen and Jake walking inside with Doug Thompson, Steve Taylor, Linda Griffin, Rachel Blum-Deckler, Charles Ruttheimer the Second, and the full force of Lawndale police. Trent was taken in for questioning (in handcuffs), a full circus of media and neighbors waiting outside the Morgendorffer home making sure his face was all over the news as _The Lawndale Pervert_. Daria and Jane stood by the Morgendorffers and Trent, trying to come up with a way to fix this mess.

* * *

><p>Somewhere in a dark cabin in the woods, the TV was broadcasting the arresting of <em>The Lawndale Pervert<em>. The reporter, an Asian-American woman in a purple suit spoke to the Channel Five news about how he was the prime suspect on the disappearance of seven Lawndale High students. "The alleged kidnapper seems to have returned Ms. Morgendorffer and Ms. Lane to their homes safely after a month of nothing, but that does beg the question: what about the other teens?"

Sitting on a couch, with a cold can of Ultra Cola and a frown, the real kidnapper turned down the volume on their television. With a glance towards the door to the basement, the criminal thought about their next move.

* * *

><p>As soon as the police and the reporters had been gone, Daria and Jane found themselves the center of an all-new investigation: Helen and Jake, alongside Trent and Quinn. The girls found themselves grounded – well, <em>Daria<em> was grounded. Jane's punishment was a lot worse.

Trent was no longer speaking to his sister.

Fifteen years in the future, Jane and Trent would sure laugh about the time when she tried to keep time-travel from him, but in the bitter present, Trent had every right to be pissed.

Night fell, and the Lanes were staying with the Morgendorffers for the night – Trent had grown attached to the family during the time he didn't have his own. And as the girls stood in the middle of Daria's room, talking about what they could possibly do to fix this, Quinn stepped inside. "I was just on the phone with Jodie and she agreed to bring all the homework you guys missed and stuff" she said, weakly. She was still angry – they all were – but she was also happy to have her sister back. In the past month, Quinn had felt nothing but guilt over denying her sister for so long and frustration over not being able to help. The older girls nodded, and Quinn just stood there for a few seconds, all of them in silence.

"Daria-" Quinn started, but stopped. She took a deep breath, and she could feel the tears coming back. "Daria, I'm sorry for, like, telling people you were like my cousin and stuff."

Daria stared at her, feeling even more guilt now. "I'm sorry I didn't call."

Quinn gave her a small smile. "Where were you anyways?"

The brown-haired girl opened her mouth, but didn't know what to say. _I was in ancient Rome, and future Lawndale, and in Mars, and a planet where everyone has a British accent for some reason_. She let out a sigh. "Look, Quinn, I can't tell you." The smile on the redhead's face disappeared. "It's not that I don't want to, but you'd think I'm crazy. And then you'd tell mom and dad, and _they_'d think I'm crazy."

"I won't tell."

Daria and Jane exchanged looks.

"Really, I won't."

Daria took a deep breath. "Very well. We were time travelling."

Quinn stared at them silently for a full half-minute. "Daria this isn't funny."

"It's not a joke." The girl in glasses answered matter-of-factly. "Remember how everybody was bursting into song the day we disappeared?" Quinn seemed uncomfortable, but didn't deny it had happened. "Hunter saved us. All of us. Robert had summoned a demon that was killing people with music." Quinn sat on the ground in front of the two time travellers.

"Not Jock Robert." Jane interrupted. "The headset guy."

"His name was Robert, too?"

"He's the only Robert in your class."

"Anyways" Daria spoke louder. "Hunter got rid of that demon guy."

"Only after you got the amulet." Jane interrupted again. Quinn seemed torn between confused and impressed, although she wasn't sure about what. If this was all true, then Daria had gone up against a _demon_, but then again, if it wasn't...

"And then he offered us a ride in his spaceship time-machine thing." Daria finished, looking straight at her sister. "You think I'm crazy."

"No, I-" Quinn thought for a moment. "I'm not saying I believe you, but I don't think you're crazy either. So, if you were time travelling, where were you anyways?"

"_When_" Jane corrected, a smirk in her face. "We met _Xena_."

Quinn raised an eyebrow at that. "Xena doesn't exist."

"That's what I told her, but she just refused to go back to not-existing." Daria spoke, a smirk on her face. Quinn let out a small laugh at that. "Then we visited the future, and you had a gun."

"A pink gun." Jane chimed in.

"With glitter." Daria pointed. "And we lived together."

Quinn thought for a moment. "Why did I have a gun?"

"You thought we were intruders" Jane shrugged.

They fell silent again.

"But, if Hunter didn't kidnap you, then-" Quinn's face became serious once more. "Who's kidnapping people?"

"That's what we need to find out."

* * *

><p>The three girls walked through the woods with flashlights at hand. They had all sneaked after everyone else had gone to sleep – Daria and Jane wanted to go alone, but Quinn wouldn't let them. "People at school are saying Metalmouth did it," Quinn told them in a whisper. "So, like, is that who we're looking for?"<p>

"Metalmouth doesn't exist" Daria whispered back.

"Said the time-traveller" Jane snorted.

The girl in glasses glared at her. She was about to say something, but they were interrupted by the sound of footsteps. The three girls turn around, Daria holding tightly to the gun she _borrowed_ from Hunter's TARDIS – she didn't know what this one did, but she was willing to find out. Jane had one, and so did Quinn – Quinn's being the smallest of them all, the one Jane used in Rome. It actually looked a lot like the one she had before, or actually after, in the future, but this one was grey. "I have a gun!" Daria called, holding her weapon high and ready to shoot. Wolves could be heard in the distance.

"We all have guns!" Jane barked from behind her, finger on the trigger.

"Please don't kill us" Quinn tried, her voice less-than-sure, but she also had her gun ready.

A total of five people came out of the woods. Well, into the woods. Well, from one part of the woods to another part of the woods. Well four people and a dog. A man with gold-blonde hair, wearing dark blue jeans and a long-sleeved white-with-a-big-blue-stripe shirt; a ginger girl with a purple summer dress; a girl who looked somewhat like Daria, but with a red skirt and an orange sweater instead, her hair short and a few freckles on her face; a big brown dog, and… Shaggy. From school.

"What are you doing here?" Both Daria and Shaggy asked, at the same time. Quinn lowered her gun almost instantly, and was – in a matter of seconds – up on the blonde dude's business, much for the redhead's discomfort, and Jane still had her gun pointed at the strangers.

"We're investigating those kidnappings." The black-haired Daria-look-a-like spoke, somewhat uncomfortable with the guns pointed at them. "I'm Velma. These are Fred, Daphne, Scooby and-"

"Shaggy". Jane interrupted her. "He owes me 15 bucks."

"Like, sorry, man" the hippie spoke, raising his hands in surrender. Jane rolled her eyes and lowered her gun.

"So are we." Daria informed the new kids. "Do you all go to Lawndale High?"

The three kids let out a collective laugh. "Hell no," Fred shook his head. "I go to Oakwood"

"Fielding" Daphne spoke, somewhat embarrassed.

"I'm in college." Velma announced, always happy to point out how smart she really was.

"And, like, Scoob is a dog." Shaggy told them, very slowly, as if trying to explain something to Kevin and Brittany.

The seven teenagers (and a dog) stared at each other for a moment. Daria was about to say something, when _OH MOTHER DEAR WE'RE NOT THE FORTUNATE ONES_

"What was that?" They all asked at the same time, and turned towards the direction the song was coming from. They could all see the shape of a man, creeping their way.

_AND GIRLS THEY WANNA HAVE FU-UN. _

* * *

><p>By the time Hunter was released, he knew it was because another kid had gone missing. He expected the parents waiting outside to yell at him and throw things at his face. He expected the Morgendorffers to never want to see his face again. What he didn't expect, however, was for Trent Lane to narrowly avoid Officer Steve and to punch him square in the jaw for the second time in less than 48 hours. "Where the fuck is my sister you pervert?" he asked, and that's when Hunter's stomach sinked.<p>

Of course. Whoever was taking those girls had taken credit for Daria and Jane, and now that they were back-

The girls had gone missing. Again.

* * *

><p>Despite everything, Helen Morgendorffer had made sure Hunter would stay at the Morgendorffer house. Because, if he hadn't kidnapped her girls, he had at least been with Daria and Jane for a month– he'd help.<p>

That didn't mean they trusted him.

"Quinn left a note." She told him at the breakfast table. "On her note she says she and the girls went looking for the _real_ kidnapper." Hunter felt a sharp pain, guilt. They did so to help him. "So if it isn't you, then who the hell could it possibly be?"

Hunter thought for a moment.

"TALK DAMMIT!" Jake screamed slamming his fists at the table and getting up, his chair falling to the ground with the sudden movement. "LOUSY SUBSTITUTE TEACHER-"

"_Trent_" Helen pleaded, and the rocker seemed to get it.

"Woa, Mr. M, come on, let's go- hm- look for the girls"

"Who's gone missing?" he asked Helen once the guys left the kitchen. "Who else, that is. Other than Daria, Jane and Quinn. There must be a pattern, right?"

The lawyer thought for a moment. She was about to tell them when Jake and Trent came back, followed by three kids – a girl in glasses who looked somewhat like Daria, a redhead girl, and a blonde guy. "Honey, these kids want to talk to you about, hm-"

"We know who's kidnapping the kids." The blonde boy stepped up. "It's Metalmouth."

* * *

><p>It had taken a lot of work to stop Helen and Jake from kicking the three strangers out of the house, but Hunter was able to do so. He showed them a badge, his psychic paper, which did help calm things down. Once everyone was silent, he started asking the questions. The kids talked about running into the girls in the woods last night, they said Metalmouth had chased them. They said the girls had weapons but nobody shot anybody. They just ran, and got separated, and then-<p>

Then Metalmouth took them. He took four kids and a dog.

"Why them?" the Time Lord asked, calmly. "What's so special about them?" That seemed to offend pretty much everyone in the room. "I mean- why not everyone. Why would Metalmouth attack a group of kids and _simply_ _choose_ to leave three witnesses?"

Velma was the one to answer to that. "They all go to Lawndale High."

* * *

><p>They had found the connection. The missing kids, all of them, went to the same school. Hunter suggested they separate, said it'd be better to investigate like this, and Helen agreed with him. So the groups were formed – Hunter, Trent and Daphne; Helen, Jake and the remaining kids – and each got to do something.<p>

Helen, Jake and the kids were to go to Lawndale High. See if anyone had a motive. Daphne would take Hunter and Trent to the woods, where the kidnapping had happened. If they acted fast enough, they'd be able to find the girls before sunset.

* * *

><p>At the school, Velma and Fred mingled with the students, security was surprisingly low and nobody even noticed that they didn't go there.<p>

Stacy Rowe seemed almost happier without the influence of the Fashion Club.

Bob and his gang of misfits were the last people seen talking to Daria and Jane, before they went missing the first time.

Evan had a history with Jane.

Meanwhile, Helen and Jake were interacting with the teachers, looking for anyone with a grudge against any of the missing children.

Ms. Barch hated Charles. She hated _all _men, but she hated Charles even more. "That _MAN_ is a _SLEAZY BASTARD_ like _ALL MEN_, but _he TAKES THE CAKE_."

Mr. Demartino loathed Kevin and Brittany. "THOse moRONS Make my LIfe a LIvinG _HELL_."

Mr. O'Neal was a mess.

* * *

><p>Hunter received a call from Helen, who was coming to meet them in the woods. She passed him the list of suspects which included several teachers and students. Meanwhile, Hunter and the others were following footprints in silence. The Time Lord had a black eye, a busted lip and a bruised jaw, and Trent had a bruised fist. Daphne could put two and two together, especially since Trent's attack had been on live TV. The footprints lead them to a cabin in the woods.<p>

* * *

><p>Daria woke up in a humid basement somewhere. She found herself tied back-to-back to someone, Jane as it turned out. Quinn was cuffed to a wall close by, alongside Shaggy and the other missing kids. In front of her, Metalmouth.<p>

"SO, you'RE FINally UP" the man spoke, his voice a bark of anger and frustration. Metalmouth was tall, and well-buit. He wore dark clothes, and his face was a mess of scars and burns, making him both unrecognizable and unmistakable. "WELlcome tO THe land OF T_HE LIVING_"

Daria almost screamed at the sight.

"Now… _WHERE_ were yOU?"

* * *

><p>The Morgendorffers, Fred and Velma arrived at the woods in a beat-up van – Daphne's van. The kids lead them to where Metalmouth had attacked, and then Helen called Hunter again.<p>

* * *

><p>The Time Lord had managed to pick the lock quietly and sneak into the cabin, alongside Trent and Velma. They could hear someone downstairs, but Hunter didn't have his gun with him. They were about to come up with a plan when his phone rang, as loud as possible.<p>

* * *

><p>Metalmouth was bragging. Criminal masterminds always do, if TV taught us anything. He was talking about his master plan to "take OUT of cirCULATION EVEry stuDENT with BAD GRAdes". He was just telling them about how it would "CERTAINLY incREASE the OVERALL GRADE AVERAGE at LAAAAWNDale hiiiGH". And then a phone rang upstairs. "I don'T Have a phONE" he barked as he moved upstairs.<p>

And Jane pulled her hands free.

"How'd you do that?" Quinn asked, quietly.

"I've been working the rope since I woke up" the brunette shrugged, turning to untie her best friend. Then she reached for her gun, a disintegration pistol, and used it to release Quinn. Now free, the youngest Morgendorffer used her weapon – a small cyber-blaster – to free the other captive kids, while Daria and Jane dashed upstairs, guns in hand.

The girls walked in on Trent fallen on the ground, trying to get up, with a nasty cut in his head bleeding a lot. Hunter was bent over a table, holding Metalmouth away with a broom. Jane rushed to help her brother, and it was Daria who fired the only shot needed to end the fight – from what turned out to be a stun gun. Because they were in direct contact during the fight, both Hunter and Metalmouth fell to the ground, shaking like fish out of water, moments before the rest of the kidnapped kids – and the dog – came rushing through the basement door. Quinn rushed towards her sister, wrapping her arms around the girl in glasses for the second time since Daria had returned, and not long after that the front door was kicked in. Standing in the doorway, Jake Morgendorffer stood, with his face red and his eyes wide open, behind him Helen and the full force of Lawndale law - Officer Steve. They all rushed in, Daria, Quinn and Jane making sure to hide their weapons in time, as Metalmouth was handcuffed.

When Hunter returned to his senses, Daria expected him to be angry – she tasered him or whatever. Instead, the Time Lord was proud. He hugged her for the longest time, glad she was okay, and only then realizing everyone was staring at them.

"I can't believe Metalmouth is really real." Officer Steve said to himself, while waiting for backup to come.

"You don't have to," Daria spoke up, in the same monotone as she always used. Hunter couldn't help but think she was getting quite good with this whole _being captured_ thing. "Because he isn't."

"Now let's see who's _really_ behind this mystery!" Jane stepped towards the disfigured criminal, a faux-excitement to her voice.

"NO don'T YOU DAre" the man screamed, shaking his head as the young painter grabbed a hold of his rubbery skin. "NOOooooooo" the voice howled, changing mid-word from an angry man's growl to a manic woman's cry. Before them stood Angela Li, in baggy clothes and with pieces of special-effects make-up stuck to her face, a shiny metal denture covering her natural teeth.

"But why?" Helen asked, shocked as everyone else.

"Ms. Li wanted to, like, increase the grade average at school or whatever." Quinn shrugged.

"And _IIIIII_ would have got a special mention from the superintendent of _schoooools_, if it weren't for you… Lousy…" She started, on the verge of tears

"Students?" Daria offered, a Mona Lisa smile playing on her lips.

* * *

><p>Ms. Li had been arrested, and life had gone back to normal in Lawndale, and Mr. O'Neal had been tricked into becoming the new principal. After a long talk with Jake and Helen (and Trent), Daria and Jane had been allowed to travel with Hunter again – but <em>only<em> on the weekends, and _only_ if Quinn got to go with them every now and then. Daria was surprisingly cool with that, and fifteen years into the future, the Morgendorffer sisters would look back at the great times they had and feel happy that they got to share it with each other.

Hunter also chose to stick around Lawndale for a while. Helen wouldn't let him live in the dumpster, though, even after being inside of it and seeing how bigger it really was on the inside (Hunter still had to take them all on a trip to prove that he and the girls weren't crazy). So now the Time Lord was renting a room at the old Lane residence. Trent still didn't like him, but he was warming up, Hunter knew.

And as a new day was born in Lawndale, with Daria and Jane walking to school like they always did, snarking about the day ahead, but also engaging in normal conversation for a change – with Quinn, of all people, who seemed to hang out around them more now. They reached the school like they always did, and the day progressed almost like it always would – except for the part where O'Neil was now principal and made a big deal out of letting everyone know he really did care for them and that they should see him as a friend and not an authority figure. Then, when the girls finally got to go to their classes, where a new Language Arts teacher was introduced.

Mr. Ken Edwards.

* * *

><p><em>Notes:<em>

_Officer Steve is a nod to God Save The Esteem, as is Daria and Velma looking like each other._

_March 17 is exactly a month after _Daria!_ aired, although that would mean _Depth Takes A Holiday_ hadn't happened yet when Hunter arrived in Lawndale, while Daria clearly mentions the Holidays. That's because, despite airing in the wrong order, _Daria!_ is actually the seventh episode of the season, while_ Depth Takes A Holiday_ is the third_. _Let's just call this a "floating timeline" and move on with our lives. _

_It has come to my attention that Robert is the name of a jock that sits on the other end of Quinn's table, which is why I made sure to have a scene where they explain Robert isn't _that_ Robert. For full disclosure: the Robert from Mr. Roboto/Night of the Hunter is best known as Headset Guy. _

_Next week: the kids are going back to the future, and Hunter comes face to face with the Bad Wolf._


End file.
